Avoid loose cucumbers in your home with the Collcumber. Preserving the freshness and firmness of your produce with the power of crystals. The Coolcumber is the perfect kitchen accessory for any home. 

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Disclaimer: The product is not actually guaranteed to work unless you’re as rad as the members of Steel Panther. It may do harm to body parts.   We won’t be held responsible for any damage, disfigurement, mutilation, small-penis complex, or permanent emotional damage you may incur from using said products.  You’ve been warned